.::The Amyra::.

Hope keeps men alive. This is the absolute truth. But I am tired of living only with hopes. Only if i had more will. I am weak. I am very weak, and tired. Tired is the right word. I often use the expression “I am sick of this”, but that is not true. It just sounds louder, it sounds like whiplash.

But the truth is that I am infinitely tired. I am tired of lies, of cheating, of bluffing, of jokes, even of friendship.

But love made me weakest. It is as if sucks my blood, melts my anger.

Maybe love is something sent to me from Allah, because it really makes me a better person.

But I cannot be without love. And what is really love???

Love is...

to listen to the birds song, but the music in your head is much better;
to feel the sun burning your skin, but to know that your heart is warmer;
to understand how big the sea is, but to know that your heart can hold two thousand seas like that;
to breath in the clear mountain air and again to know that your heart is purer.

Because you love. The object of your desires doesn’t even suspect how much he has given you, even when he doesn’t care about you at all. So that is the reason people who say that unshared love kills, are not right but wright.

It is beautiful to love. Not someone but to only love. Your heart overflows, fills you up. It is as if yo are ready to fly away with the lightest breeze and to run on the grass, not bending or harming even one stem.

I was once sad and lonely, having nobody to comfort me. So I wore a mask that always smiled; to hide my feelings behind a lie. Before long, I had many friends with my mask, I was one of them.

But deep inside, I still felt empty, like I was missing a part of me. Nobody could hear my cries at night. For I designed my mask to hide the lies. Nobody could see the pain I was feeling. For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears and behind all the comfort were the fears. Everything you think you see, wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day, I was slowly dying. I couldn't go on because there was something missing..

Until now I'm still searching for the thing that'll stop my crying. For someone who'll erase my fears, for the person who'll wipe my tears.

But till then I'll keep on smiling. Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing. Hoping one day I can smile, till then, I'll be here.. waiting....

by Amyra javaroses